bin Laden ARMY

In the wake of last week’s horrifying act of anything-but-Islamic-terrorism perpetrated by the “Allahu Akbar!” shouting Nidal Malik Hasan and the subsequent State-controlled media’s comically persistent attempts at promoting spin the likes of which would’ve made George Orwell’s imagination explode, we have learned something:

If you’re an Islamic fanatic currently embedded in the ranks of the U.S. military, we really don’t wanna know.

So do try to keep it to yourself, okay?

Such information isn’t very helpful to the “progressive” cause, which is another way of saying that such information “doesn’t exist”.  At least it shouldn’t exist, anyway.

Now, if you happen to spot anyone that you even think might be spreading information detrimental to the passage of Obamacare, even in what may appear to be casual conversation, we have an email address for you to report the offender. SWAT teams are standing by!

But if you happen to be or know of a radical Muslim sympathetic to the Islamic jihad against America, and said jihadist is conveniently serving in the same America’s armed forces, we’d really rather not hear about it.

We’d rather not know about it ’cause we really don’t want to think about it, and we really don’t want to think about it because then we might be compelled to actually do something about it, and we don’t want to do anything about it because…well…there are lots of reasons, actually.

First off, we don’t want to offend you or your Islamic brethren. You scare us. We’re hoping that if we play nice you will at least have the reciprocal decency to keep the bloody acts of mass murder to a bare minimum.

Secondly, we tend to hate the same traditionally American values that you despise and know that any nation founded on those principles deserves just what you’ve been dishing out. We know deep down inside that everything you say about America has been true. We hate that America just about as much as you do…maybe even more.

All we ask now is that you take a moment between bombings, shootings and decapitations of the infidels to notice that we have finally embraced change; the sort of change that you can believe in.

We are willing, able, and, heck, anxious to apologize for everything that America’s ever done or been accused of doing to anyone willing to listen.

We won’t wage a “war on terror” or even use the term anymore, if that helps.

And we certainly won’t root you out of the American armed forces.

After all, that would violate everything that the new America stands for.

Copyright 2009 S.A. Buss – Feel free to re-post this piece, but only with the copyright included and a link to Fire Breathing Christian whenever possible. Thank you!

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