The End Times (Christian Satire) Summer Article List

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With the Clinton/Trump campaign rolling through the summer, there has been much fertile ground for apocalyptic Christian satire over the past few months.

Here’s a sample of the work we’ve done at our sister site, The End Times, over the course of what was indeed a very hot and very apocalyptic summer of 2016:

Trump Builds Wall Of Evangelical Leaders To Protect Himself From The Gospel

Hillsong: “What The Gospel Really Needs Is…More Cowbell!”

Local Church Accidentally Raises Flags In Proper Order; Decides To Keep Them That Way

White House Admits Obamacare Was “Basically Written By Magic 8-Ball”

Creepy Clowns Terrorize America Via Televised Debate

Christian Mingle Forced To Find Dates For Bruce Jenner

Brock Lesnar Self-Identifies As 130 Pound Woman; Effortlessly Dominates Women’s MMA

Ozone Hole Attributed To Al Gore’s Endless Rambling About Global Warming

Jesus Isn’t Anybody’s Co-Pilot, Hundreds Of Annoying Bible Passages Confirm

Evangelicals Reveal Plan To “Finish Off The Culture So Jesus Has To Come Back Immediately”

James Dobson “Accepts Jesus” On Trump’s Behalf; Evangelicals Applaud “Conversion”

Paula White Confirms That She “Totally Led Trump To Jesus”

Revamped Trump University To Offer Advanced Degrees In “Owning Evangelicals”

Family Christian Bookstores To Offer Bible/Mood Ring Combo

Baal Prophets’ “Feelings Were Probably Hurt” By Elijah’s “Judgmental, Sarcastic Attitude”, Seminary Report Claims

Sweet Old Lady At Church Still Convinced Barcodes Are The Mark Of The Beast

Local Church Of Christ Bans Use Of Word “Alcohol”

Nicolas Cage Admits “It Was Like My Career Got Raptured” In ‘Left Behind’

Church Optimistic About Its Marketing Of Pessimism

Southern Baptist Convention Votes To Formally Admit Defeat In Culture War

American Christianity Diagnosed With Stage 4 Testicular Cancer

Sesame Street’s “The Count” Dies Trying To Keep Up With US Debt Clock

Christian Man Conveniently “Spiritualizes Away” Every Aspect Of Life That He Doesn’t Want To Tackle Biblically

American Conservative Christians Still Prefer Ten Commandments Plaques To Actual Ten Commandments, Report Confirms

Trump Promises Frustrated Fans That He Will Literally Disembowel Clinton In Next Debate

Trigger Warning Sign At Debate Reveals Hofstra U To Be Even More Gay Than Originally Assumed

Osteen Reveals True Identity As “Jo-El, Most Favored Son Of Krypton”

Local Man Loves The Thought Of Jesus As His Savior; Hates The Thought Of Jesus As His Lord

Cookie Monster Comes Out Of The Closet; Self-Identifies As “Very Large Woman Who Loves Eating Cookies”

Obi-Wan Kenobi Accidentally Comes Out As Sith Lord

Obama Plans Massive Money-Bombing Of Iranian Nuclear Facilities

Local Church Celebrates Resumption Of Satanic Child Education System

Star Wars Episode VIII To Feature Massive Battle On Snowy Planet Followed By Escape To City In The Clouds

Hillary Camp Demands Defibrillator-Equipped Debate Podium

Republicans To Build Giant Wall Between Politics And Biblical Christianity

American Christians Pray For Trump To Massacre Clinton In Debate

EpiPen Formally Sponsors Hillary Campaign

Fearful, Technophobic Christians Terrorized By Pikachu

After “Months Of Prayer”, Ted Cruz Endorses GOP Anti-Christ For President

Survey: Most American Christians Say Great Commission “Can’t Be Done”

Roving Horde Of Community Activists Loots, Burns And Pillages To Promote Peace And Social Justice

TSA Confirms Al-Qaeda Not Hiding In Old Man’s Pants

ISIS Claims Responsibility For Global Warming; Mainstream Media Conflicted

Hillary Has Kick-Stands Surgically Installed Above Each Cankle

Samsung To Replace Exploding Phones With New, Not-Yet-Exploded Phones

Hillsong Embraces Role As Daycare For “Baby Christians” Of All Ages

Genesis 3 Serpent Named US Department Of Education Mascot; Christians To Keep Sending Kids To Public Schools Anyway

Dr. Evil Confirms Clinton Pneumonia Diagnosis; Mainstream Media Proclaims Issue “Settled”

Kaine Pledges To Carry Clinton’s Cold, Limp Body Over The Finish Line

Hillary Celebrates Pneumonia Diagnosis By Hugging Small Child

Chicago Celebrates 2016 Gun Control Success With 500th “Gun-Free Zone” Homicide

Obama Administration Advances Robot Labor Movement By Promoting Minimum Wage Hike For Humans

Hillary To Deliver All Future Speeches By Coughing In Morse Code

Impeached Brazilian President Sentenced To Swim 20 Laps In Olympic Pool

Colin Kaepernick’s Socks Charged With Treason

Hal Lindsey And Dr. Evil Beg Britain Not To Leave Them This Way

Man Self-Identifying As St. Bernard Wins Westminster Dog Show

Paula White Launches New Makeup Line For Pretend Pastors

Trump/Clinton Effortlessly Merge Into One Giant Gay-Affirming Candidate

To see the rest of the apocalyptic Satire that we published over the summer of The Donald, head on over to The End Times site.

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Stupid Elephant Tricks – The Other Progressive Party’s War on Christianity takes a painful but much needed look at how Christ-less “conservatism” has captivated Christians and co-opted them into helping march the culture ever deeper into darkness:

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The Beginning of Knowledge: Christ as Truth in Apologetics is an approachable, easy to read introduction to Christ-centered apologetics:

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Apathetic Christianity: The Zombie Religion of American Churchianity explores the tragic true horror story of all-American dead religion masquerading as Christianity:

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On Education is a compilation of some of the most provocative and compelling Fire Breathing Christian articles on the subject of children’s education:

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There Is No “God-Given Right” To Worship False Gods is a compilation of some of the most provocative Fire Breathing Christian articles on the subject of America’s embrace of a satanic approach to religious liberty:

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Fire Breathing Christians – The Common Believer’s Call to Reformation, Revival, and Revolution is the book that first presented the FBC mission to apply the Gospel-fueled Great Commission in every realm of God’s creation:

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And especially this one: Never forget that apart from God’s grace you and I are complete morons.

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