Can you feel it?

Can you sense it?

Can you smell it?

There is a dark terror stalking the land.

[insert Darth Vader breathing here]

A great evil has come.

And it is hungry.

[add Jaws theme music here to accompany Darth Vader’s breathing]

It feeds on misery and pain.

Few can imagine the horror of this monster…this beast…this plague

It stalks.

It watches.

It waits.

Nobody is safe. (Thanks to those anti-vaccine wackos.)

There is nowhere to hide. (Thanks to those anti-vaccine nuts.)

[Add Halloween theme music on top of Jaws theme music and Darth Vader breathing]

Every man, woman, and child is at risk…every man, woman, child is a target…every man, woman, and child is a potential victim. (Thanks to those anti-vaccine crazies.)

A most fearsome predator has been awakened from presumed death. (Thanks to…you know who.)

[Add Omen themed Gregorian chants on top of Jaws and Halloween themes here, accompanied by Vader breathing]

It stalks us with Grim Reaper like purpose and determination.

And it really, really, REALLY …[*drumroll*]…itches!

I mean really!!!





A whole lot!

You have NO IDEA how much it itches!

No idea at all!

Unless, of course, you are one of the millions upon millions who have already contracted and rather easily survived the unparalleled scourge of…THE MEASLES!

No, wait; let’s back up and try that last part again:

[activate James Earl Jones’ Vader voice here]

“…the unparalleled scourge of THE MEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAASLLLLES!!!

Yeah, that’s better.

Nowhere close to the gravitas warranted, of course, but better at least.

And remember always: The one and only power capable of saving us from this devastating (and did I mention really itchy?) super-plague is…State-funded, State-promoted, and State-protected vaccines.

Howsabout that?


See where a few generations of systematic pacification, State-dependence, and pop-culture immersion has gotten us?

It’s like we’re an entire culture of Bruce Jenners or something.

To see the way that the measles are being positioned as the foil by which we might be terrified into pushing for the forced medication of children against the will of their parents is one of the most blackly comedic demonstrations of God’s judgment upon us yet.

The very real good news in this is that once you get through the tears of laughter and/or weeping at our overall pathetic condition, there are many very encouraging signs and opportunities made plain in this sad, sorry tale, including:

  1. The System is desperate. I mean, the measles?! Time is slipping by and people are waking up. The State and Statists are making mad, measley grabs for power while they can, because they know that trends are working against them. They have to move quickly and they know it. Hence: The Great Measles Apocalypse.
  2. Popular propagandists on the secular Right are being revealed as every bit the Statists as those on the Left. Fox News “conservatives” like Megyn Kelly are increasingly coming out in MSNBC-esque support of State-as-parent positions. This is only helping the awakening process mentioned in point #1.
  3. The overall stupidity of the State- and Corporate-contrived and controlled artificial culture in which we have been submerged is being made apparent. While the vast majority of people are still clinging to their denial and idolatry of The Matrix, more and more are being shaken into consciousness by the grace of God through the flagrant idiocy of the pagan worldviews trying to hold them down and keep them in the system. The biblical foolishness of unrepentant man really is highlighted quite beautifully in situations such as The Great Measles Apocalypse.

The fact that the measles (!) has been used as the conduit for the insane, hysterical anti-family, pro-State propaganda of recent weeks is the most telling component of all. Ebola was “no biggie; we have this under control”. But the measles are all: NoooOOOOooOOOOOO!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

…and into the arms of the State, of course…and the Corporations that own the State, which happen to also make…vaccines!

Neat, huh?

Take heart, Christian!

Our enemies are stupid.

And desperate.

Powerful for the moment, to be sure, but desperately and terminally foolish nonetheless.

If you’ve benefitted from the work done at Fire Breathing Christian, we ask that you
consider financially supporting the cause. You can do this in one of three ways:

You can drop a few bucks in the tip jar by making a one-time donation through PayPal.

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We depend on God’s provision through His faithful people.

Thank you for supporting Fire Breathing Christian!

Please check out our video channel and our news satire site.

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You can also help support the Fire Breathing Christian mission by checking out these books:

Stupid Elephant Tricks – The Other Progressive Party’s War on Christianity takes a painful but much needed look at how Christ-less “conservatism” has captivated Christians and co-opted them into helping march the culture ever deeper into darkness:

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The Beginning of Knowledge: Christ as Truth in Apologetics is an approachable, easy to read introduction to Christ-centered apologetics:

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Apathetic Christianity: The Zombie Religion of American Churchianity explores the tragic true horror story of all-American dead religion masquerading as Christianity:


On Education is a compilation of some of the most provocative and compelling Fire Breathing Christian articles on the subject of children’s education:

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There Is No “God-Given Right” To Worship False Gods is a compilation of some of the most provocative Fire Breathing Christian articles on the subject of America’s embrace of a satanic approach to religious liberty:

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Fire Breathing Christians – The Common Believer’s Call to Reformation, Revival, and Revolution is the book that first presented the FBC mission to apply the Gospel-fueled Great Commission in every realm of God’s creation:

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An alternate white cover version of Fire Breathing Christians is available:

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There is also an alternate black cover version of Fire Breathing Christians:

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Finally, here are a few good intro/reminder links for those of you who are new to Fire Breathing Christian and curious about exactly what’s goin’ on ’round here:

What are you, some kind of [insert label here] or something?!

What’s with that shark-fishie graphic thing?

Intro to Fire: The Power and Purpose of the Common Believer

When the Bible gets hairy. (Or: Is it right for men to have long hair?)

And especially this one: Never forget that apart from God’s grace you and I are complete morons.


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