The Ultimate (and completely safe) “Debate”-Watchers’ Drinking Game

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D-Day has arrived.

Zero hour is nearly upon us.

I am of course speaking of The Big Show (of the moment): Tonight’s 10-man corporate controlled political puppet cage match being put on by Fox News in Cleveland.

The stakes are high and the contrived drama is higher.

Trumpamania is already running wild and The Donald will be taking center stage. (See: Trumpamania runs wild! (Yes, he can really win…and yes, we really deserve him.).)

Literally, since each of the ten puppets invited to The Show will have their podium position assigned based upon their current polling positions. Thus, The Trumpinator will be in the middle of all of the contrived, controlled action.

As a reformed (and reforming) political junkie who still enjoys these sorts of events from what I hope is an ever-more Christ-centered and Great Commission-fueled perspective, I’ll definitely be tuning in. But where the whole “we must support the lesser evil put forth by the System” used to actually work on me, these days events such as this tend to inspire more of a “watching a train wreck in slow motion” curiosity combined with a desire to observe and critique this episode of The American Political Puppet Show from a biblical perspective so that maybe, just maybe, something informative and helpful might be gleaned and used to advance the Kingdom of God in spite of everything that these puppets and their masters are trying to do.

So tonight’s Big Show is part comedy, part tragedy, part horror show, and part recon opportunity.

It’s in this context that I’d like to offer for your consideration something I’d normally not offer for anyone’s consideration: A drinking game.

Not just any drinking game, but The Ultimate “Debate”-Watchers’ Drinking Game.

Contrary to what the title may imply, this game is completely safe, even for devout Southern Baptists.

I know, I know, this seems impossible…and sounds pretty sketchy. But just trust me for a sec. The devil is removed by the details, and we’ll get to those pronto.

The Ultimate “Debate”-Watchers’ Drinking Game is fairly simple.

For those of you (thankfully) unfamiliar with this “drinking game” concept, the general idea goes like this:

Some form of beverage is placed before those participating in the game.

Then, every time a predetermined trigger event occurs, someone (or everyone, depending on the game) has to take a drink of the beverage in question.

For example, if you had a group gathered to watch Star Wars flicks and the trigger event was “anytime anyone says ‘may the force be with you””, then every time anyone in the movie said the trigger phrase, everyone would have to take a drink.

Obviously, this is not a game that should normally be played with alcoholic beverages. For our purposes here, however, it really won’t matter. You can use any beverage you like, from hard liquor on down, without any fear of violating the beautiful and important biblical command to avoid drunkenness.

In The Ultimate “Debate”-Watchers’ Drinking Game, the triggers are as follows:

So there you have it.

These are the rules.

These are the drink triggers.

And these are the reasons why even the most vigorously Southern Baptist or Church of Christ type can play The Ultimate “Debate”-Watchers’ Drinking Game without fear of even one drop of alcohol touching their lips.

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Even so, The Ultimate “Debate”-Watchers’ Drinking Game is offered for your consideration here as an illustration only.

After all, Lord willing, one day we will have actual candidates involved in actual debates who will routinely do the very things that trigger drinking in the game. And if, by the grace of God, one should be moved to do so on one or more occasions tonight, the last thing I want to do is attach a bad thing (like slamming a shot of Jack) to such a good and encouraging moment.

That said, I hope that the point here is plain and that we will all take it seriously.

The “leaders” taking the stage tonight are just the next in a wave of managed, programmed puppets who will all do what generations of managed, programmed “leaders” have done before them. They will all continue to lead us to the hell of anti-Christian Statism, however much they may sprinkle on the “conservative” and even “Christian” lingo. (See: Welcome to the 2016 Parade of Republican Statists.)

At the end of the day, the Pagan Political Right and Pagan Political Left are two wings of the same dragon.

Keeping that in mind will help us all to soberly and biblically evaluate things like the Pagan “conservatism” and Statism being pitched relentlessly in one form or another from the puppets at the podium. (See: How’s that Pagan “conservatism” workin’ out for ya, Christian?)

So feel free to take in tonight’s Big Show.

Just remember to stay sober-minded and “test all things”…especially the things said at this “debate”.

~

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